Becoming a Memory
"Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment."
-Harlan Ellison
It's almost funny how after only a few months, a wound that I thought would take forever to heal actually isn't hurting as much as it used to. Or even how much it hurt the first time. But God is good, and He's taking this disaster of a life that I've created and is actually making something out of it.
When I first thought about even moving back to Northport, I was nervous because I was afraid that this would just be another dead end, that I would become another girl that moves back home and doesn't aspire to absolutely anything. But there have been so many different opportunities that have opened up for me here, and so many old connections that have been re-established. And though I do miss my friends and family in Spokane, I am very thankful for the time that I have spent here. It's been perfect for Morgan, watching her grow and speak those first words, and the trust and love she has developed to everyone that loves her is absolutely AMAZING to watch.
And me? Well...there are still those wounds that are there. There are still things that I need to work on, things I need help with and past hurts that aren't quite ready to heal, but I'm getting there. And things I thought I wouldn't make it through are a little easier to deal with every day. I still think about him, every now and then, and yeah, it still hurts to do that. There will be a song that makes me think of him, or I'll be running and there'll be a scent that will make me thing of that waterfall, or I'll see a flier for the circus, and those tiny reminders will make me think of him. And what used to be really painful to think about now only leaves a kind of dull ache.
But God is good, and I'm getting better. Soon, what I once thought I would never get through will only be a memory. I just wish that such a good friendship didn't have to be sacrificed to only become a memory.
-Harlan Ellison
It's almost funny how after only a few months, a wound that I thought would take forever to heal actually isn't hurting as much as it used to. Or even how much it hurt the first time. But God is good, and He's taking this disaster of a life that I've created and is actually making something out of it.
When I first thought about even moving back to Northport, I was nervous because I was afraid that this would just be another dead end, that I would become another girl that moves back home and doesn't aspire to absolutely anything. But there have been so many different opportunities that have opened up for me here, and so many old connections that have been re-established. And though I do miss my friends and family in Spokane, I am very thankful for the time that I have spent here. It's been perfect for Morgan, watching her grow and speak those first words, and the trust and love she has developed to everyone that loves her is absolutely AMAZING to watch.
And me? Well...there are still those wounds that are there. There are still things that I need to work on, things I need help with and past hurts that aren't quite ready to heal, but I'm getting there. And things I thought I wouldn't make it through are a little easier to deal with every day. I still think about him, every now and then, and yeah, it still hurts to do that. There will be a song that makes me think of him, or I'll be running and there'll be a scent that will make me thing of that waterfall, or I'll see a flier for the circus, and those tiny reminders will make me think of him. And what used to be really painful to think about now only leaves a kind of dull ache.
But God is good, and I'm getting better. Soon, what I once thought I would never get through will only be a memory. I just wish that such a good friendship didn't have to be sacrificed to only become a memory.
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