The Power of Words, Pt 2

Hello all!! Or just a few, depending on who is reading this and who receives any kind of notification when I post stuff. It's been about three weeks since my last posting, mainly because I've been focused on school and family and my incredible new job working with kids (Aaaahhhh!! But still, so amazing!!) and I haven't really had a whole lot of inspiration for new posts. Which might be a good thing, because it means that some of the drama has died down (for now, hopefully for an extended hiatus) and I can really focus on the important things in life.

Anyways, my latest inspiration actually came from the mouth of babes. Or children, because they technically can talk now and understand a bit about what I'm trying to teach. And it's been a pretty freaking big eye opener and just hearkened back to my previous posting.

My first encounter was about two weeks ago, with a little girl in the program I'm now working as a child care aide in. All the kiddos were getting ready for snack time, and were lining up outside the bathroom, waiting for their turn to wash hands. I was supervising this chaotic wonderment when I heard one of the girls in line spew a nasty term at the girl standing directly in front of her. And my immediate reaction (I'm kinda thankful to say) was to call her on it and basically go: "That is NOT okay. We don't use that kind of language here!" But then her expression became one of dismissal, and I really couldn't stand that. So, I walked from the front of the lines and dropped down to my knees right in front of her, and basically gave her this speech:

Is it better to be mean or to be nice? Is it better to hurt someone or to help them up if they're feeling sad? Do you know what your words sounded like? Were they nice? (She shook her head no, her face had now taken on a solemn stare) Were they hurtful? (She nodded her head, still solemn) Do you know that your words are POWERFUL, little one? (She looked down into my eyes, her lip starting to quiver) Do you know that your words can either hurt someone or build give them strength? (She again shook her head, but her eyes had started tearing up now) You carry such an enormous strength, sweetheart, and you carry so much power inside you that you don't even realize. Your WORDS carry power. And I believe that you can and will use that power for good, and to help people, and to build them up, not tear them down by being mean.

Her eyes were flooded at this point, and seeing the tears start streaming down her cheeks made me want to just envelope her in the biggest hug ever because I hated seeing her sad, but I was also doing a victory dance inside because my WORDS were getting through to this little girl!! Also, she'd been one of the most mischievous girls in our program, and in the days that followed she's actually calmed down a bit and I've heard her using MUCH better, kinder, uplifting language towards other girls, and often walking away when the situation would get to difficult.

Now, the second scenario, this one actually involving my own daughter and niece. Last weekend, my nieces spent the night, and during the next day all the girls played together, as girls are wont to do, and they bickered and squabbled as expected. But one interaction that I overheard just stuck in my head. I heard arguing between G (my niece) and Morgana (my daughter). And the first line I heard was this: "You're the worse cousin ever!" (G) followed by, "Yeah? Well I wish I had never met you!" (Morgana) and finally: "Well, I wish you had NEVER BEEN BORN!!" (G)

The girls were arguing over Play-Doh.

So, after addressing the yelling, I separated them to get each side of the story and to have a talk with my niece. Which almost echoed the conversation I had with the little girl at work. Only we talked about what led up to G yelling at Morgan and wishing that she had never been born and me explaining how that's almost like wishing death on someone, and G insisting that she would actually be very sad if she didn't have a cousin like Morgana and if Morgana died, and then when I gave the "words are powerful, and you can carry that power for good or bad," I actually DID start crying when I saw my six year old niece tearing up, and then I pulled her into my lap and just kept reassuring her that she was loved and she was so much more than just a moment in time.

But even in those moments of speaking into these girls' lives, I like to think it's made a difference. Of course, it's a bit of a different story with my own daughter and my step-children, but when does it not take more effort to speak into your own children's lives? They are far more likely to believe someone else over their parents, same as they are far more likely to obey and behave for other people that aren't their parents. It's a fact of parenthood!!

What's important to do is to reinforce that words are powerful. Words can cut like a knife or heal like a salve. And for me, it was so heartbreaking to see these little girls understand what I can't even get adults to even consider. AND THEY GOT IT. They got it so much that they're hearts hurt over the realization that their power was being misused and it spilled over!! This was a six year old and a nine year old, for goodness sakes!! And I still get pissed off at the fact that there are grown men and women who do not consider the weight that their words carry and will blame those that hold them accountable for their actions one day. Because they refuse to understand what two little girls can clearly understand.

Words are power. They can hurt, they can heal, they can build, they can destroy.

My children will know that. My children will understand that. And I still hope to help other people, ESPECIALLY women (with the toxic standard that society holds us to of cattiness and bitchiness and being outright disgusting and judgmental and horrendous to other women simply because "...We are naturally bitchy to other women that threaten [us]") see that words are not something that is thrown around lightly, and with no consequence.