A Day at a Time

It's been a minute.

Or several. In my head, it doesn't really matter.

Days come and go, time passes. People move in and out of life, some staying longer than others, and all we can really do is be thankful for the time that we have with them in the moment.

Last night, my oldest brother asked me if I called my biological father on Father's Day. I didn't. I haven't spoken with him in over a year. I'm not angry at him anymore, but I can't let his flavor of toxicity near my family.

Two weeks ago, I learned from a friend of mine that my most difficult relationship resulted in something beautiful for my ex's daughter and her mother, and it made me so thankful for the impact that I was able to have in his life and the impact he was able to have in mine.

Last week, my fiance and I saw a woman I once called my best friend as she crossed the street, looking like she was headed to work. I haven't spoken to her since September. And while i know, instinctually, that I most likely won't ever speak to her again, I do wish her and her family the best.

Yesterday, someone that I used to know passed by me at work, and I was immediately transported back to a difficult and trying time of my life three years ago when I was scrambling to make ends meet and attempting to pick up the pieces of a broken but hopeful life.

And after processing an anxiety attack, getting my heart rate under control, and focusing on the oh so wise words of my partner ("Our lives aren't the same as they once were. We are better together. Stronger. And we are moving forward."), an epiphany happened.

Time doesn't stop. And there is a beauty to that, albeit heartbreaking. Yet, if we can choose to let go of things that we have no control over and simply let them be, to forgive an move on, our lives can become the most beautiful and fulfilling that they were meant to be.

Our children will grow. Lines will come to the corners of our eyes. Our bodies will change, morph, evolve, and there is beauty in that aging. We will learn such terribly necessary lessons as loss, anger, betrayal, and why forgiveness must be given for our own sakes.

And as I tell my children day in and day out, we have no control over others, just as we have no control over such a thing as time. The one thing we do have control over is ourselves, our journey, our story, and how we respond to a friend like time.