A Different Kind of Family

Good morning, my wonderful reader! Readers? *crosses fingers hopefully*

It's been a while, I know, but I'm not going to apologize for that. Life with a family and soaking up all the baby adorableness, after all.

Speaking of which, let me introduce you!!

This is our little Felix, six months old, and his Daddy, big sisters, big brother, and I could not be happier to have this incredible little man in our family. (Honestly, even with planning for him, I got so much more than I could have ever hoped for)

Life with four kiddos is never boring, and I feel like I could practically fill a novel with everything that has happened in the year since my last post. But today, I just want to relish and reminisce. After all, its 10 AM, snowing outside, I've got my cup of tea, little Felix is singing along with his big brother (who is ENTHUSIASTICALLY singing Jingle Bells with relative accuracy), and the two girls are still sleeping while my dear husband is running some errands. 

Life is good right now. 

Yesterday, my oldest (M) had a PERFECT day at school. A pretty huge accomplishment for her, with new behavioral diagnoses, starting in-person classes in middle school after almost two years of distance learning (thanks, Covid), and a lot more insanity. So we celebrated her accomplishment with her choice for dinner, sweets to share with her siblings, and a promise of a movie night this weekend. 

But honestly, the best part of her perfect day was her dad, messaging me after she got home from school.

"Did you see her report for the day? I am ze proud papa."

He was/is the proudest, best dad that our daughter could have. And honestly, I think I would have lost so much of my patience, sanity, ect, this last year if I didn't have the support and encouragement of her dad and my husband. 

I'm so proud of the fact that, with everything we have been through in the last decade, we were able to make it to this point where we legitimately are family. We look out for each other, support each other, encourage and uplift, in so many different aspects that society will most likely side eye and whisper, "That's just not normal."

About two and a half years ago, I was in a car accident and totaled my car. Still had $2,000 owed on it. Her dad helped me pay that off when his tax return came in. A couple months ago, I realized that the advance payments of the Child Tax Credit for 2021 might have a negative impact on her dad, so we communicated and worked out a plan to protect him. My family includes him in holiday celebrations, my dad seeks out time with him, my mother sends Christmas and birthday presents to him. 

None of this is normal in what our society expects of split households. The norm society pushes is hostility, arguments, parents trying to one up each other, anger and resentment. None of which is conducive to a healthy environment for a child to grow up in. 

I'm proud of my small impact to fight that expectation. I'm proud to be a part of a coparenting dynamic where we can talk about the difficult topics without one of us pulling back and ignoring the other. I'm proud to be a part of a dynamic where child support is not necessary, because we both are trying to work together to help the other not just survive, but thrive. I'm proud to be part of a dynamic where my daughter's dad is one of my good friends, and we can celebrate successes of our daughter and each other. I'm SUPER proud of the fact that her dad was happy to be included in my wedding day to my husband, and that my three other children recognize him as part of the family. 

Suffice to say, I'm very proud to be part of a different kind of family.