Strength

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."

-Washington Irving

I'm not going to lie here, the last few weeks haven't been that easy. Growth is never a simple thing to go through, and it can cause as much pain in the present as the rewards that will be reaped in the future will be worth it. I've shed more tears in the last month than I have in the last two years. And at times it feels like I'm about to drown in the intensity of it all. And when I see those tears fall to the ground, I can't help but think that I should be stronger than this. I should be stronger for my daughter, because she needs me to be. I should be stronger so that others won't take advantage of a woman that's in a hard place of her life. I should be strong to keep people that might and probably WILL hurt me away.

But there's a difference between strength and isolation. I've come to realize that the hard way. Just because you have these weaknesses doesn't mean that showing people your vulnerabilities is a weakness. I'm still trying to get that through my thick skull. I guess I've just opened myself up to so many people, and it's always the ones that I let get really close to my heart that have ruined it. And I'm still trying to deal with it. 

What might be mistaken as weakness is also the greatest strength I have. I know I'm a strong woman, and I know that I can stand under this barrage that life gives me. And showing people that I need support is not a weakness. It simply means that I am strong enough to admit my faults, to acknowledge them and take away the taboo that surrounds them. That takes a certain level of strength in and of itself. 

I just need to keep reminding myself of that.