Some Questions Require Stupid Answers
"What's a stupid question?"
Well, THAT, for one. And believe me, it IS possible to ask stupid questions. I'm attempting to get mentally prepared for dealing with stupid questions for a while today. But it's okay, because the stupid questions that I'm preparing for I know will come from kids that are still learning to think, and haven't quite figured out that it's okay to be intelligent because it's actually EXTREMELY attractive to the opposite sex.
But then you get stupid questions from people that are supposed to know how to think, or from kids that are trying to sound intelligent to an older prospect, that is when it really bugs me. And you know what my favorite stupid question is?
"What's up?"
No, seriously. LOOK AT THAT QUESTION. That has to be one of the most odd questions I have ever had to answer. So I usually go with a smart ass response, like "The ceiling, for one," or if I'm texting a guy, I'll get REALLY smart and say "Obviously not you *wink wink*"
But then I have to start explaining to a hormone driven male that yes, I was just kidding, and really do get grossed out when you attempt to seduce me...not the most appealling thing, believe me. And the only thing it really stimulates is my gag reflex and conversations with my girlfriends or really close guy friends about how inept you really are.
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I using big words that you can't really understand? Well, the only thing I can think would help you would be a dictionary. Or even a thesaurus. But your head's probably already spinning from me using words that are longer than two syllables long.
Yes, "syllables." (It actually is a word, but it's okay to do the clap thing to figure out how many there are in that one word alone.) Clap it out now. "Syl-" *clap* "-Ah-" *clap* "-Bull-" *clap* Good job, boys and girls.
But you know what the ANSWER makes me want to smack someone? I don't know.
"What? You don't know?"
No, really, that's the answer to that I detest with a passion. Okay, so you don't know the answer to any kind of question. Don't just stand there and admit to it!! That makes you look even more like an imbecile than an obsolete answer would! If you're going to admit you're a bit of a moron, at least have the decency to some up with an interesting answer. Example:
"What's a way of circumnavigating the globe without depeleting any of our natural rescources?"
(Yes, this was a question that I heard a high school freshman ask today during my work.)
DO NOT SAY: "I don't know."
INSTEAD: "Well, first we would have to calculate the air speed velocity of an unleaded African swallow, muliply that by the wind speed and have to calculate the speed at which the currents of the Indian Ocean would travel so that we would be able to reach the Red Sea by the time the birds of that region begin to migrate..."
Anyways, you see my point. A college professor might actually give you half points for answering a question in such a creative way. Trust me, I've bullshitted my way to a passing grade in Biology of Insects on the final exam. It works if you can make a professor laugh!!
And how exactly do you make a professor laugh? Well...
"I don't know." Yeah, sure, Will. Try some Monty Python on them.
But then I have to start explaining to a hormone driven male that yes, I was just kidding, and really do get grossed out when you attempt to seduce me...not the most appealling thing, believe me. And the only thing it really stimulates is my gag reflex and conversations with my girlfriends or really close guy friends about how inept you really are.
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I using big words that you can't really understand? Well, the only thing I can think would help you would be a dictionary. Or even a thesaurus. But your head's probably already spinning from me using words that are longer than two syllables long.
Yes, "syllables." (It actually is a word, but it's okay to do the clap thing to figure out how many there are in that one word alone.) Clap it out now. "Syl-" *clap* "-Ah-" *clap* "-Bull-" *clap* Good job, boys and girls.
But you know what the ANSWER makes me want to smack someone? I don't know.
"What? You don't know?"
No, really, that's the answer to that I detest with a passion. Okay, so you don't know the answer to any kind of question. Don't just stand there and admit to it!! That makes you look even more like an imbecile than an obsolete answer would! If you're going to admit you're a bit of a moron, at least have the decency to some up with an interesting answer. Example:
"What's a way of circumnavigating the globe without depeleting any of our natural rescources?"
(Yes, this was a question that I heard a high school freshman ask today during my work.)
DO NOT SAY: "I don't know."
INSTEAD: "Well, first we would have to calculate the air speed velocity of an unleaded African swallow, muliply that by the wind speed and have to calculate the speed at which the currents of the Indian Ocean would travel so that we would be able to reach the Red Sea by the time the birds of that region begin to migrate..."
Anyways, you see my point. A college professor might actually give you half points for answering a question in such a creative way. Trust me, I've bullshitted my way to a passing grade in Biology of Insects on the final exam. It works if you can make a professor laugh!!
And how exactly do you make a professor laugh? Well...
"I don't know." Yeah, sure, Will. Try some Monty Python on them.
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