The Dirty "F" Word
I remember the first time I had to stand up for my beliefs about my gender and my stance on equality. I was 21, on a date with a guy that I had met online a couple weeks before, and for the most part the conversation had been enjoyable. During a conversation about workplace equality, a comment he made just made threw me for a "WTF" moment.
What did he say, you may wonder.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were one of those feminists."
"What exactly do you mean, one of those feminists?"
"Oh, you know." He shrugged after I didn't reply. "Walk all over men to get to the top. Bra burners. 'Cut off their penises!' Those kinds of feminists."
In the moment, I didn't even know how to reply. I was immediately confused, apprehensive, and defensive all in seconds that followed. I was completely thrown out of what I had thought was a good, intellectually stimulating conversation by being called a feminist. The date ended pretty quickly after that, and afterwards I stopped replying to his escalating misogynistic messages. Looking back now, I can honestly say I wasn't as shocked as a misandrist would have been in that situation, and I do attribute that to my now firmly held feminist views.
In the six years that have followed my feminist realization, I've encountered a LOT of people (both men and women) that hate that "dirty" word, without really understanding the movement and the intentions behind it. I've been called a man-hater, accused of pursing a career in family law to simply "get back at men," called a slut that didn't realize what I was passing up on. I've been called a traitor by other women for standing up for father's rights, been attacked for my physical attributes by men and women who felt to insecure in their own standings. I've been blamed for my own rape, been told that I "may have" deserved to be abused by ex-boyfriends. A lot of these examples are like water on a duck's back, easily dismissed because they are made by ignorant people, but a few times they do still sting.
Feminists in our day and age are viewed through a lens, the majority of the time a negative one. I find myself educating people on the differences between misandry and feminism and misogyny, and just trying to really find the balance between those who have been hurt by either misandry or misogyny and had it disguised as feminism. And with every victory, it gets a little easier to go to the next battle for the equality of future generations and for my fellow men and women.
My name is Evelyn. I am a firm believer in equality, father's rights, survivor rights, women supporting women, and the beauty that can come from humility. I am a Feminist, with a capital fucking "F". Unapologetically, unequivocally.
If that makes me one of "those" feminists, so be it. I'll get down into the mud with the dirtiest of them.
To end, a quote by one of my PERSONAL favorite feminists, Emma Watson.
“If you stand for equality, then you’re a feminist. Sorry to tell you.”
What did he say, you may wonder.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were one of those feminists."
"What exactly do you mean, one of those feminists?"
"Oh, you know." He shrugged after I didn't reply. "Walk all over men to get to the top. Bra burners. 'Cut off their penises!' Those kinds of feminists."
In the moment, I didn't even know how to reply. I was immediately confused, apprehensive, and defensive all in seconds that followed. I was completely thrown out of what I had thought was a good, intellectually stimulating conversation by being called a feminist. The date ended pretty quickly after that, and afterwards I stopped replying to his escalating misogynistic messages. Looking back now, I can honestly say I wasn't as shocked as a misandrist would have been in that situation, and I do attribute that to my now firmly held feminist views.
In the six years that have followed my feminist realization, I've encountered a LOT of people (both men and women) that hate that "dirty" word, without really understanding the movement and the intentions behind it. I've been called a man-hater, accused of pursing a career in family law to simply "get back at men," called a slut that didn't realize what I was passing up on. I've been called a traitor by other women for standing up for father's rights, been attacked for my physical attributes by men and women who felt to insecure in their own standings. I've been blamed for my own rape, been told that I "may have" deserved to be abused by ex-boyfriends. A lot of these examples are like water on a duck's back, easily dismissed because they are made by ignorant people, but a few times they do still sting.
Feminists in our day and age are viewed through a lens, the majority of the time a negative one. I find myself educating people on the differences between misandry and feminism and misogyny, and just trying to really find the balance between those who have been hurt by either misandry or misogyny and had it disguised as feminism. And with every victory, it gets a little easier to go to the next battle for the equality of future generations and for my fellow men and women.
My name is Evelyn. I am a firm believer in equality, father's rights, survivor rights, women supporting women, and the beauty that can come from humility. I am a Feminist, with a capital fucking "F". Unapologetically, unequivocally.
If that makes me one of "those" feminists, so be it. I'll get down into the mud with the dirtiest of them.
To end, a quote by one of my PERSONAL favorite feminists, Emma Watson.
“If you stand for equality, then you’re a feminist. Sorry to tell you.”
Comments
Post a Comment