Back to School Blues
It's 10 AM. There is a fresh cup of tea next to my left hand, water bubbling away around eggs on the stove, and I'm waiting for my toast to finish so that I can at least tell my partner that I've eaten something other than coffee or tea when he wakes up from the nap with the littles. It's the first day of school for our eight year old, and her stepmom and I dropped her off together this morning.
The house is quiet, the silence only being disrupted by the tic tic tic of the over head fan and the intermittent whiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrr of the air conditioner. I'm not sure if my housemate has woken up and gotten her morning cup of tea with my adopted niece, but I'm pretty positive that it's just going to be me for a bit, sitting at the conference table, sipping my drink and clacking away at these keys. It feels strange, in a sense.
Life can be so chaotic. And this last month has been a trial, to say the least. My partner and I have been trying to plan a vacation to just recuperate, and while we have the dates set, I still hope to God that we can finish the planning and that finances come through.
School for my partner and I starts in a little under three weeks, and while he's just starting off on his journey, I'm so close to my first goal that I can just taste it, and it keeps eluding me. It's frustrating, but not impossible. The sad part for me is not that I am having a difficult time getting those two final classes, but that once I reach that first goal, I know my life is going to become infinitely more chaotic. And sure, with chaos there is accomplishment, but there is also sacrifice. And you can't get one without the other.
So I remind myself to just take these moments. Take these mornings of quiet, while all the children are resting, and my partner is being a father, and I don't have to rush out the door to get to an office on time just yet. Enjoy the time to be a homemaker, to spend time with my closest friends, to take a moment and savor it.
Because soon enough, going back will actually mean chaos beyond my wildest imaginings. And while I'll be thankful for that day, it will be a sad day indeed.
The house is quiet, the silence only being disrupted by the tic tic tic of the over head fan and the intermittent whiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrr of the air conditioner. I'm not sure if my housemate has woken up and gotten her morning cup of tea with my adopted niece, but I'm pretty positive that it's just going to be me for a bit, sitting at the conference table, sipping my drink and clacking away at these keys. It feels strange, in a sense.
Life can be so chaotic. And this last month has been a trial, to say the least. My partner and I have been trying to plan a vacation to just recuperate, and while we have the dates set, I still hope to God that we can finish the planning and that finances come through.
School for my partner and I starts in a little under three weeks, and while he's just starting off on his journey, I'm so close to my first goal that I can just taste it, and it keeps eluding me. It's frustrating, but not impossible. The sad part for me is not that I am having a difficult time getting those two final classes, but that once I reach that first goal, I know my life is going to become infinitely more chaotic. And sure, with chaos there is accomplishment, but there is also sacrifice. And you can't get one without the other.
So I remind myself to just take these moments. Take these mornings of quiet, while all the children are resting, and my partner is being a father, and I don't have to rush out the door to get to an office on time just yet. Enjoy the time to be a homemaker, to spend time with my closest friends, to take a moment and savor it.
Because soon enough, going back will actually mean chaos beyond my wildest imaginings. And while I'll be thankful for that day, it will be a sad day indeed.
Comments
Post a Comment