Name Me

Well. It happened. I've hurt someone already. I've hurt one of the most important people in my life, and I'm still not quite sure how to deal with it. The only thing that keeps coming to mind is my old room at my parent's house. I don't remember why, but I do remember being furious with myself, with how I'd lived my life. I took construction paper and a magic marker, and in BIG bold letters I wrote these:

WHORE
LIAR
HYPOCRITE

Because that's what I am. I can't decide how I want to live my life, I'm playing with fire that I don't need to play with; I'm lying about it, both to myself and to the people around me; I act a way and get offended when someone else does the exact same way.

But the one thing I hate most about me is the hypocrite. The little bitch that says "Save yourself for marriage. Sure, I'm not a virgin, but I'm going to wait for my husband now." and goes out and has sex with six more people. The girl that says "Why don't you trust me? I've never given you any reason to NOT trust me." And then goes out and flirts with other men. The one that says "I love you with everything in me." and turns around the next day and says "I love you, but I love HIM, too. You can't expect me to choose."

What is wrong with me? There is no other human on the earth that is as unfeeling, as uncaring, as fucking HYPOCRITICAL as I am.

My name?

I'm the worst thing that happened to you. That should suffice.