A Silver Thread of Memories
That's what he called it. I can understand why. When a friendship like our's becomes so strained, there really isn't anything stronger that can hold it together. Now, while we're not talking, memories are all I have that I can think about.
***
A drive-in movie. I don't even remember what was playing, but it didn't matter much because his hand was resting on my knee. It was late May, and it was sprinkling. He cracked the window, and the difference of temperature was delicious: his body heat and the cool night air. That night was our first kiss. Like a butterfly, I could've sworn I was transformed.
***
The waterfall. It was August, and he hid from my father behind a rock. It didn't work so well, though. He's had a weird feeling about my dad since the circus. But that day was warm, and my jeans got soaked from wading in that creek. I still remember the feel of the dirt on the path, the gravel in the water, the exhilaration that went through my body as I ran down that trail. At least, until I noticed the toenail I had ripped off. It still makes me laugh to think about it.
***
It was March. I hadn't seen him in almost a year and a half. I was going through a really hard break-up. I remember sitting in an empty study area, IMing him. He was talking, and I could see him through the webcam. I started crying, I don't even remember what it was about, but there I was bawling my eyes out. He told me not to cry, that it would ruin my pretty face. I wasn't even wearing make-up that day.
***
He was flying in. I had been excited all day, to the point where I hadn't been able to focus on schooling or homework all week. I was waiting for him in the terminal, along with all the other people awaiting other passengers. I remember seeing a pregnant girl who looked a little older than I was at the time. She was waiting for a soldier, and the look on both of their faces was indescribable. Maybe it was a little foreshadowing of what could have happened, but I'll never know.
And then I saw him walking towards the terminal. I could've ran through security, I was so excited to see him. But I didn't. I stayed as calm as I could, even though I felt like screaming like the cheerleader I was. He smelled fantastic. Even better than the Axe he used to wear. I could've stayed there for weeks on end. He was still pretty lanky, but he'd put on more bulk than the last time I'd seen him. He was strong enough to lift me off my feet that time. It was wonderful, having my best friend that close. It had been far too long since I'd seen him.
***
A few months later. I was waiting for the bus to take me home, and we were texting. I told him I was pregnant. I don't remember him being to happy about that. He told me he was going to boot camp for the Marines, and then active duty. I wasn't to happy about that. There was a fear that I would never be able to see him, to give him one more hug, to not be able to say everything that I wanted to.
***
A silver thread. I like to think of it as spider silk, stronger than anything in proportion to its size, but there are still things that can break it. Outside forces, about to go through a lifetime's work as if it was nothing. One strand upon another, deadlier to prey than anything else, but it's so easy for a person to break. But something so frail...can it really survive this kind of storm? I'd like to think that it can, but since I last talked to him, I'm not so sure.
There are a few things I know, though. I miss my best friend. I miss talking to him all hours of the day, waking up to his text message. I miss being able to tell him anything. But I also know that I'll never give up my family, even for someone as important as him.
I've never felt more like Bella in my entire life.
***
A drive-in movie. I don't even remember what was playing, but it didn't matter much because his hand was resting on my knee. It was late May, and it was sprinkling. He cracked the window, and the difference of temperature was delicious: his body heat and the cool night air. That night was our first kiss. Like a butterfly, I could've sworn I was transformed.
***
The waterfall. It was August, and he hid from my father behind a rock. It didn't work so well, though. He's had a weird feeling about my dad since the circus. But that day was warm, and my jeans got soaked from wading in that creek. I still remember the feel of the dirt on the path, the gravel in the water, the exhilaration that went through my body as I ran down that trail. At least, until I noticed the toenail I had ripped off. It still makes me laugh to think about it.
***
It was March. I hadn't seen him in almost a year and a half. I was going through a really hard break-up. I remember sitting in an empty study area, IMing him. He was talking, and I could see him through the webcam. I started crying, I don't even remember what it was about, but there I was bawling my eyes out. He told me not to cry, that it would ruin my pretty face. I wasn't even wearing make-up that day.
***
He was flying in. I had been excited all day, to the point where I hadn't been able to focus on schooling or homework all week. I was waiting for him in the terminal, along with all the other people awaiting other passengers. I remember seeing a pregnant girl who looked a little older than I was at the time. She was waiting for a soldier, and the look on both of their faces was indescribable. Maybe it was a little foreshadowing of what could have happened, but I'll never know.
And then I saw him walking towards the terminal. I could've ran through security, I was so excited to see him. But I didn't. I stayed as calm as I could, even though I felt like screaming like the cheerleader I was. He smelled fantastic. Even better than the Axe he used to wear. I could've stayed there for weeks on end. He was still pretty lanky, but he'd put on more bulk than the last time I'd seen him. He was strong enough to lift me off my feet that time. It was wonderful, having my best friend that close. It had been far too long since I'd seen him.
***
A few months later. I was waiting for the bus to take me home, and we were texting. I told him I was pregnant. I don't remember him being to happy about that. He told me he was going to boot camp for the Marines, and then active duty. I wasn't to happy about that. There was a fear that I would never be able to see him, to give him one more hug, to not be able to say everything that I wanted to.
***
A silver thread. I like to think of it as spider silk, stronger than anything in proportion to its size, but there are still things that can break it. Outside forces, about to go through a lifetime's work as if it was nothing. One strand upon another, deadlier to prey than anything else, but it's so easy for a person to break. But something so frail...can it really survive this kind of storm? I'd like to think that it can, but since I last talked to him, I'm not so sure.
There are a few things I know, though. I miss my best friend. I miss talking to him all hours of the day, waking up to his text message. I miss being able to tell him anything. But I also know that I'll never give up my family, even for someone as important as him.
I've never felt more like Bella in my entire life.
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