Some Days
"Adulting is hard today."
I sent my fiance that message at 9:08 PM. Dead tired, after passing out on our living room floor for almost two hours while watching Awake: The Million Dollar Game on Netflix, after a pretty easy day at work, and with little to no stress to speak of today.
Because it is hard, some days.
Some days, the meds just don't affect you in the way you want them to. Some days, all the little things you use to try to manage your chronic disability just don't work together. Some days, you just want to flip off your just barely too chubby rib cage and eat that ice cream in your mocha. (God, even a mocha sounds good right now!)
Some days, I just want to curl up with a never ending pot of tea and an acoustic playlist in the background with a book that draws my attention like it used to in the old days. I want to get lost in pages, not in the ad nauseam of a streaming queue.
Some days, two cups of tea just don't cut it, and so I'll drown whatever I can in three, four, or five cups.
The silly thing (or not so silly, I suppose, but I'm just trying to downplay all these emotions right now) is that I'm getting married in sixteen days. And there are still so many things to be done. Vows to write. Exercises to complete. Budgets to balance. But I'm just so tired. And blocked. And that makes me a little sad, but I know it's okay to just take my time. At least, that's what my fiance would tell me.
I sent my fiance that message at 9:08 PM. Dead tired, after passing out on our living room floor for almost two hours while watching Awake: The Million Dollar Game on Netflix, after a pretty easy day at work, and with little to no stress to speak of today.
Because it is hard, some days.
Some days, the meds just don't affect you in the way you want them to. Some days, all the little things you use to try to manage your chronic disability just don't work together. Some days, you just want to flip off your just barely too chubby rib cage and eat that ice cream in your mocha. (God, even a mocha sounds good right now!)
Some days, I just want to curl up with a never ending pot of tea and an acoustic playlist in the background with a book that draws my attention like it used to in the old days. I want to get lost in pages, not in the ad nauseam of a streaming queue.
Some days, two cups of tea just don't cut it, and so I'll drown whatever I can in three, four, or five cups.
The silly thing (or not so silly, I suppose, but I'm just trying to downplay all these emotions right now) is that I'm getting married in sixteen days. And there are still so many things to be done. Vows to write. Exercises to complete. Budgets to balance. But I'm just so tired. And blocked. And that makes me a little sad, but I know it's okay to just take my time. At least, that's what my fiance would tell me.
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