Writer's Block
So here it is. Almost half past midnight, onto my second cup of coffee, struggling with writers block for an essay I've been dying to write for my Humanities class, just attempting to push through so that I can get this quarter over with. And I tell you, it's frustrating as all hell sometimes, especially when I've had these topics REALLY spark my interest, that I WANT to speak out about, and to just go "blah" when it's time to connect the dots between all the beautiful things that I want to say.
These last two months in school have been so amazing (and believe me, I'm tearing up as I think about having to leave the amazing teachers that I've met and it's a little bittersweet to think about moving on), eyeopening, and empowering to a point that I never truly thought that I would ever be able to get to.
But here's the biggest thing I have discovered about myself, and what is currently causing this block in the mental process. I'm a bigger advocate of equal rights than I ever really thought I would be. I'm an unabashed feminist, yes, but before you roll your eyes and let out a huff in exasperation, I just want to tell you that I do NOT believe in misandry and I will NEVER advocate for the mistreatment of any person, no matter what their personal views of me might be. I was raised to be gracious, caring, to call dirt as it is, to be strong, and to fight against injustice. I was CONSTANTLY told that I was a warrior maiden, that I could change the world with my words, and while a part of me doubts that I'll ever reach the level of fame that our society tells us we need to achieve in order to truly make an impact, I just hold onto the fact that I can influence my daughter, my partner's kids, and any future children we have, bio or adopted. And I can and do make an impact in their lives. So as small as a contribution as that may be, it's still a pebble in the ocean that can cause ripples. And that's always how the biggest tsunamis start, right?
Anyways, coming back from the rabbit trail. The cultural studies class that I've been taking this quarter has lit my brain on fire. A lot of the lenses we were looking through are ones that I've explored, however minutely, over the years, but this quarter, the critical race lens just grabbed me by the lapels and wouldn't let me go. And of course, after that we started looking at the feminist lens and queer theory, and those all grabbed me pretty hard, too, but nowhere near as hard as critical race. The most difficult assignment I had this quarter was reading and critiquing a piece by Dr Robin DiAngelo: White Fragility. And more so than anything I can every recall, this piece forced me to look at my life. My experiences. And started opening up my eyes to why our society reacts and people behave in the way that they do. So many things, from the NFL Blackout (which was a movement that I never fully understood) to the election of our current president (ugh) to the reaction seen in Charlottesville, NC, and even some personal interactions with people that I still consider dear friends of mine started to click and I started to understand on another level. And this piece, well, it's prompted me to start exploring the world of activism a little bit more and with a little bit more vigor than I can ever recall. Which brings me to the point that I'm at right now.
Racism, whether subtly or blatantly, is still something that our society deals with. And it can be seen in so many aspects of our culture, from the artistic to the economic to the biographic to WHATEVER. And we've become desensitized to it. Well, I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan (Badgers Unite!!) and one of our final papers we had to critique in class dealt with Harry Potter and the queer theory. This piqued my interest, mainly because it only looked at the first four books and not the series as a whole, and I wanted to write something that could draw from the majority of the series, or at least be a topic that could be connected across the years that are covered.
And what topic is covered so clearly, from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows than race? Whether Mudblood, Half-Blood, or Pureblood, the race of wizards and witches are at the forefront of a lot of the conflicts in the series. But what of the other races? What of the discrimination of half-human creature by the infamous Dolores Umbridge? What about the fascination of so many of the female students with Firenze, the centaur, when he is appointed as the teacher of Divination in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? What about Hermione and her quest for the justice of house-elves and The Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare (S.P.E.W.)? What about the way that wizards and witches treat house-elves throughout the series? Yes, J.K. Rowling did intend to have race play a vital part in her series, but I don't think that she even consciously looked at all the different ways it would apply, though it's very possible that her characters spoke to her and even subconsciously encouraged her to take up the mantel for justice.
And funnily enough, I just found my opening thesis. Thank you, world!
These last two months in school have been so amazing (and believe me, I'm tearing up as I think about having to leave the amazing teachers that I've met and it's a little bittersweet to think about moving on), eyeopening, and empowering to a point that I never truly thought that I would ever be able to get to.
But here's the biggest thing I have discovered about myself, and what is currently causing this block in the mental process. I'm a bigger advocate of equal rights than I ever really thought I would be. I'm an unabashed feminist, yes, but before you roll your eyes and let out a huff in exasperation, I just want to tell you that I do NOT believe in misandry and I will NEVER advocate for the mistreatment of any person, no matter what their personal views of me might be. I was raised to be gracious, caring, to call dirt as it is, to be strong, and to fight against injustice. I was CONSTANTLY told that I was a warrior maiden, that I could change the world with my words, and while a part of me doubts that I'll ever reach the level of fame that our society tells us we need to achieve in order to truly make an impact, I just hold onto the fact that I can influence my daughter, my partner's kids, and any future children we have, bio or adopted. And I can and do make an impact in their lives. So as small as a contribution as that may be, it's still a pebble in the ocean that can cause ripples. And that's always how the biggest tsunamis start, right?
Anyways, coming back from the rabbit trail. The cultural studies class that I've been taking this quarter has lit my brain on fire. A lot of the lenses we were looking through are ones that I've explored, however minutely, over the years, but this quarter, the critical race lens just grabbed me by the lapels and wouldn't let me go. And of course, after that we started looking at the feminist lens and queer theory, and those all grabbed me pretty hard, too, but nowhere near as hard as critical race. The most difficult assignment I had this quarter was reading and critiquing a piece by Dr Robin DiAngelo: White Fragility. And more so than anything I can every recall, this piece forced me to look at my life. My experiences. And started opening up my eyes to why our society reacts and people behave in the way that they do. So many things, from the NFL Blackout (which was a movement that I never fully understood) to the election of our current president (ugh) to the reaction seen in Charlottesville, NC, and even some personal interactions with people that I still consider dear friends of mine started to click and I started to understand on another level. And this piece, well, it's prompted me to start exploring the world of activism a little bit more and with a little bit more vigor than I can ever recall. Which brings me to the point that I'm at right now.
Racism, whether subtly or blatantly, is still something that our society deals with. And it can be seen in so many aspects of our culture, from the artistic to the economic to the biographic to WHATEVER. And we've become desensitized to it. Well, I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan (Badgers Unite!!) and one of our final papers we had to critique in class dealt with Harry Potter and the queer theory. This piqued my interest, mainly because it only looked at the first four books and not the series as a whole, and I wanted to write something that could draw from the majority of the series, or at least be a topic that could be connected across the years that are covered.
And what topic is covered so clearly, from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows than race? Whether Mudblood, Half-Blood, or Pureblood, the race of wizards and witches are at the forefront of a lot of the conflicts in the series. But what of the other races? What of the discrimination of half-human creature by the infamous Dolores Umbridge? What about the fascination of so many of the female students with Firenze, the centaur, when he is appointed as the teacher of Divination in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? What about Hermione and her quest for the justice of house-elves and The Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare (S.P.E.W.)? What about the way that wizards and witches treat house-elves throughout the series? Yes, J.K. Rowling did intend to have race play a vital part in her series, but I don't think that she even consciously looked at all the different ways it would apply, though it's very possible that her characters spoke to her and even subconsciously encouraged her to take up the mantel for justice.
And funnily enough, I just found my opening thesis. Thank you, world!
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